One thing I have learned through my divorce is that the term “marriage” means different things to different people. The truth is, I hadn’t ever given it that much thought before. I have been blessed to grow up around amazing examples of marriage in my life, so I think I always assumed everyone thought about marriage the same way. That the rules and expectations for marriage were the same for everyone. Not so.
Let me be perfectly clear on my personal thoughts on marriage. First and foremost, I believe marriage is a promise. A covenant between you and your spouse…but more importantly, a covenant between you and God. I believe marriage is a vow you not only make before God, but WITH God. I believe God created marriage and that marriage is a beautiful gift from God to his people. That being said, not everyone should be married. It’s not for everyone. And that’s ok.
My fundamental view on marriage was one of the big reasons I struggled and continue to struggle with my divorce. In choosing to divorce my husband (yes, it was a choice) was I breaking my vow with God? I was going back on the biggest promise I had ever made in my life. The biggest promise I had ever made to God. I had failed. I had failed myself, my marriage, and my God. Is there anything worse?
This shame only added to my depression. Divorce: The Ultimate Failure. I felt like I had lost my husband’s love, and now the love of my Savior. And this is the moment, when we are at the end of our rope, that God calls to us, reminding us that his love is EVERLASTING. ETERNAL. UNENDING. It took me the better part of a year to come to this realization, and even though these are words I have been told my entire life, to finally grasp their truth has been the greatest gift of this personal failure.
Romans 8:39 “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”