Being divorced is like being in a secret club. You meet a woman, find out she is divorced, and all of a sudden you have a connection. You may not have anything else in common, but this simple fact, this life experience that you both share, unites you. There is always someone who is further along in their divorce struggle, or is just beginning their own personal downward spiral. We’re all grasping at straws trying to figure out the best way to handle this curve ball life threw us. We turn to each other with confused expressions begging for the magic answer of how to speed this whole healing process along. “Throw me a bone!”, we cry out. “Help me fix this!”
The amount of strong, divorced women who I have met over the past two years is still astonishing to me. From my experience, we are a supportive bunch. We speak the same language. We have the same wounds. God has given me and continues to give me many incredible women along the way. There’s a fearlessness in a woman who can share her horror story with you without batting an eye and tell you in the same breath that you’re going to be ok. There’s a safety in being able to be honest with another human about all the terrible, shallow, selfish things you’re thinking. The knowledge that you aren’t being judged, but rather, finally understood is liberating.
I’ve had a small group of women along my path who have been instrumental to me during these past two years. They don’t all know each other and they are all in different places in their personal timelines, but the two things that seem to join us is the fact that we are all divorced, or going through a divorce, and that we are all Christians. What a blessing it has been to have other women, who seek God’s will for their lives, help to guide me through this horribly sad time in my life. Women who remind me on a daily basis the strength God gives us all. Women who affirm God’s love for me. Women who set the beautiful example of grace and dignity in the face of life just plain sucking.
It’s not fair that we all share this unfortunate experience. It’s disgusting that our husbands treated us, goddesses that we are, with such disdain. It’s pathetic that we had to deal with such weak men. But it is beautiful that we are all able to lean on a God who sees us for the women he created us to be. Our friendship is a gift. We are warriors fighting together to win back our lives, and who are all smart enough to know we can’t do it without our personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Because of that very firm truth, we’ve already won.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.”