Day 475

One of my favorite things about writing this blog is that it has made me delve into God’s word much more than I ever have before. Today I was reading the “love chapter.” I tend to shy away from this chapter because it depresses me and reminds me of the love that I have lost. But today I was feeling brave, so I went ahead and started reading and what stuck out to me was the part about love not keeping a record of wrongs. I know I talk about love a lot. All different types of love interest me and learning about how to love people better and show them not only my love, but God’s love, is high on my priority list. I am constantly working on being better at loving others the way they need to be loved, and a lot of prayer goes into that…which is why I think I was led to this verse. Love keeps no record of wrongs.

Wow. No record? None at all? Well, that’s what it says, so it must be true. So, now I find myself making a mental list of any grudges I might be holding or any ugliness in my heart that I need to confront and I came to the stunning realization that love truly doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. Of course, there are plenty of situations that annoy me and I have a few choice words for the way certain aspects of my life have gone, but when I sat down and thought about all the people that I love I was filled with an overwhelming amount of joy.

My birthday was last week and I was beyond humbled by the love I felt. Going through a list of friends and family in my head and I am brought to tears by their selflessness. Their willingness to pick up the slack of what a husband would have done for his wife. The giving of their time, their energy, their utter generosity had me beside myself. I have been incredibly difficult to love at times during this chapter in my life. But no one seemed to remember those moments. They just loved. They didn’t keep a record of my wrongs.

But how? How could so many forgive my faults? There are times when I have disappeared as a friend. Months when no one would hear from me. I have missed birthdays, weddings, births, deaths, you name it. I have told the same stories time and time again. I have become possessive and downright crazy of some friendships. I have cried. I have yelled. I have given the silent treatment. I am sure I have tried the patience of many. I have been stingy and required others to be charitable. I have judged and judged and judged. I have made others take care of me emotionally, mentally, and physically. I have taken and taken and not given back accordingly. The list of my flaws could take up several blog posts. But, I had the opportunity this past week to take stock, and all I saw was love.

Praise God. Praise God that the wonderful people he has put into my life are able to love me in a Godly fashion. Praise God they don’t have a notepad somewhere with all the times I have failed them. Praise God they have chosen to look past my list of wrongs and see the tiny heart that kept going. Praise God they believed I would come out of this someday and thought it was worth it to stick with me.

Our earthy love isn’t perfect like God’s love. And it’s often easy to get discouraged with ourselves and with others who aren’t loving us the way we think they should. But, as Christians, we are called to try our best to love the way God taught us…and that includes not keeping a list of wrongs. Maybe if we all tried to meet each other with a pure love and accept each other’s circumstances as something that doesn’t define who we are, but rather what we are battling; we could get that much closer to the love God is trying to teach us to show one another.

I’m humbled that so many have forgiven my “record of wrongs.” I’m overwhelmed by the Godly love I have been so freely given. My prayer is that God uses the love of others to help me honor him by loving better. The gratitude I feel for the love that surrounds me is an emotion that I can’t describe. There are no words. There is only God and his amazing grace. Thank you.

1 Corinthians 13:5 “Love is not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.”

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