Day 590

I’ve said before that I’m good with dates. I am. Incredibly good with dates. Timehop has nothing on me as far as remembering specific occasions that occurred on “such and such date” in my past. I also have a killer memory. In the back of my mind I can recall small details, scents, even what was going through my mind during a certain day and time. I can almost relive particular experiences through my memory. I think, as an actress, this is helpful to my profession. However, as a woman trying to move forward in her life, it can be somewhat destructive. Some memories cause me to backslide. Some feelings cause unwarranted tears. Some dates cause a haunting feeling that I fear I will never shake.

September 8 is one of those dates in my life. I know I’ve written about it before and I won’t go back into detail about the day, but it is the date, in 2013, that I found out my ex-husband was having an affair. Not only do I remember that day, but I remember every September 8 since then. I don’t sulk. I’m not depressed all day. I don’t eat an entire pizza by myself (although I could do that on any given day…I’m a beast). I just go through every September 8 with the realization of how much one day can truly change your life. I had since branded that ominous fall day “The day I found out” or “The day my world got turned upside down” or “The day I wish I could forget.”

But you know what? This year, three years later…that’s not the first thought that came to my mind on September 8. the first thought that came to my mind was my friend, Cheyenne. She was a big part of that day. She has been a big part of my healing since that day. Without any sort of hesitation, late into that terrible Sunday night, she traveled to my apartment. She helped me pack a bag. She was rational. I remember not knowing what to take with me. When would I be back? Was this really happening? I was scared and tired and devastated. She got my ex-husband out of hate apartment. She talked to my mother. She assured me I could come back whenever I wanted, but we needed to leave. She was logical. I was in my pajamas. She made me put on a bra. Good thinking, sister. And then, on the way out; she carried my suitcase, let me lean on her, and flipped off my ex-husband all at the same time. She is super talented. She got me to her apartment and somehow put me to bed. In the weeks to come she would make sure I ate, she would watch TV with me, she would keep my family updated on my state of mind. 

A year later, after I finally filed for divorce, she stood with me in a grocery store in Macon, Missouri and forced me to pick foods that she would cook for me so I would eat. The next year, she opened her apartment to me in New York so I could come back and properly say goodbye to the city that had been my home for 9 years. And now, another year later, I finally realize that September 8 isn’t the day that I found out about my ex-husband’s affair. It’s the day I discovered my beautiful friend Cheyenne is a superhero. It’s the day she rescued me. It’s the day God called her to take care of me. To own that responsibility. It’s the day when my ex-husband showed his lack of love and respect…but also the day when I learned what it means to truly and selflessly display God’s love through your own actions.

The gift is that I’ll never have to know what would have happened if she hadn’t been there. There is a relief in the realization that time truly is healing this wound that I have been living with for the past three years. My soul feels calm…reassured, as I watch part of God’s design play out before me. Just one more testimony that God has given me. One more way he has proven his love for me. One more example of what he can do when we follow his calling. I am blessed Cheyenne said yes to God. And then look what he did! He turned her into a superhero.

1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

2 thoughts on “Day 590

  1. Kat, again you prove how strong you have become. I mentioned before God has a plan for you and you seem to be following the blueprint. What a wonderful friend to have (Cheyenne). She seems to have a very rational mind and it is the kind of friend that is extremely hard to find. She is one of God’s workers, keep her close in mind and spirit as you move on to other challenges. You are so fortunate to have someone like this in your life.

    Like

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