Day 175

I wasn’t supposed to get a divorce. I was supposed to be married to the same man, the man I believed God had chosen for me, for the rest of my life.  We would deal with our share of problems, sure, but divorce was never going to be an option.  I don’t give up.  I’m not the kind of gal who accepts failure, and I certainly don’t get myself into anything I’m not 100% sure I can see through. So imagine my surprise, heart-break, disgust, when I found myself signing those divorce papers a mere two and a half years after saying “I Do.”

I decided to write this blog because my divorce rocked my world, tested my faith, and changed my life.  I think, especially for women, the word “divorce” has such a negative connotation.  It’s something I have been ashamed to talk about.  It drug my self-worth into the sewer.  It was like quicksand that I couldn’t escape.  BUT, the good news is that being a divorced 32 year old woman does not define me as a person.  It doesn’t define my soul or my heart or my future.

This blog is the story of my marriage and divorce, but more importantly, it’s the story of healing.  The story of learning how to stand up again and keep moving. The story of taking something ugly and trying to create beauty.  The story of how a gracious and loving God wouldn’t let me fall.

1 John 4:19 “We Love Because He First Loved Us.”

2 thoughts on “Day 175

  1. I’m so proud of you. Not only for the strength you have shown during this time but that you are sharing that strength with others. Through your tears you will help others see beyond their own sadness and grief. Since God brought you into my life all those years ago I have always looked to you as an example of true Christianity. I’m so thankful you are in my life and how wonderful it is that you are sharing these lessons with women everywhere.

    Like

  2. Katherine Walker Hill — I could not be more proud of you. You are a fabulous, beautiful, beyond talented, kind, loving, ferociously strong woman. I am angry at this man for what he did to you but I am more angry at this man for the way he made you feel. But then I remember: That’s on him and it has nothing to do with you. And then I feel tremendously sorry for him. The regret he will have in his life, the pain he will one day realize he has caused, and the acceptance that he is completely and utterly lost in this world.

    And you are not. You are not alone, you are not lost, you are not defeated. You are injured and wounded and knocked on your rump but you are a survivor and your heart will love again. And this life that has been bestowed upon you will be a success story. I love that you are writing about this. I love that you are getting your feelings out so that they cannot poison the person that you are. You are my hero and I love you tremendously.

    Your Cousin.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s